Faith: Moving From Hard To Easy
Recently I was at a meeting and like with most of my meetings lately, Storyteller Cafe came up as a topic. I was not the only person present from Stories Foundation at this meeting and yet when one of the people I was meeting with addressed the cafe, it was in reference to it being my dream.
This is true, in part. I have been dreaming about Storyteller Cafe for over 9 years. I can see it in my minds eye like it already exists.
Yet, I left that meeting and said out loud something I have been thinking and speaking a lot lately. I am not doing anti trafficking work or pursuing the build of a giveback cafe for my own health. I am not doing this because this cafe is some big dream I have to realize for myself. Quite the contrary.
I am a dreamer and I always have been. I like to think of myself sitting by the ocean with my hair blowing in a salty breeze writing books like Anne of Green Gables in Anne of Avonlea. I have many dreams for myself and similar to my dream of the cafe, they have been pretty consistent. The thing is, in all my dreams for me before I learned about human trafficking, I never envisioned myself running a coffee shop, or a nonprofit organization for that matter.
This isn’t to say I am not thankful for the work I have been given, please don’t misunderstand me, I am very grateful. This anti-trafficking work God has asked me, called me, equipped me to do and refined me through doing is a gift to my life. The people I am privileged to meet, the stories I am honored to hold, how all of it has impacted, touched and is changing me. I am truly honored.
And the cafe, the cafe is a beautiful, sustainable, precedent setting, culture changing idea. Once it exists I truly believe it will explode and be bigger than even I could have imagined. This is where I am going, Storyteller Cafe is definitely a vision God has given to me ( and my mom, and others who have joined us). What it isn’t is my dream for my life. I believe strongly this is God’s dream for a way he wants to reveal himself in this dark issue and he has asked me to be obedient and walk it out.
I was on a walk with my friend Lena a few days after a fundraiser event for Stories. I was reflecting again on how I had said with a handful of people present that fighting human trafficking and opening Storyteller Cafe isn’t my dream for my life. I have other dreams; like writing, speaking and inspiring others to follow God by faith. Now these personal dreams have been grown in me and are being fulfilled because of what God has done in and through me as he calls me to do anti-trafficking work, but there have been times over the past 9 years where I have had to surrender those dreams in obedience to God as I choose to stay faithful to the work with Stories Foundation he has asked me to do.
I know Lena feels the same way, she has worked by my side for the entirety of Stories Foundation and I know it was never her dream to run a food truck, become a caterer or even an event planner - although she is excellent at everything she does. She too has had to surrender her individual dreams as she has followed Jesus in this journey.
Today I was at a church where a small group had recently completed our online curriculum. We came to answer questions and the first question was in reference to when the cafe will open. Don’t I wish I had a concrete answer for that one! I gave an update on the cafe and we moved on. Once the Q&A was over, a woman came up to me and commented on how she couldn’t believe the faith I have had to persevere with banks. I replied that faith is a muscle, with a chuckle I said, the more we use it the bigger it grows, right?
To be honest, this past week was maybe one of the more discouraging ones of late as we pursue financing for the cafe with a looming deadline fast approaching. Never have I had my faith tested as much as in the last few days. I want you to know I believe with every fiber of my being this cafe is God’s vision and so therefore he will bring it to pass. I believe he has led us here and, like my friend Judy B always tells me, “Where God guides he provides.” Amen and amen.
I often think of Abraham in the Bible when I think about walking by faith. God called Abraham to leave his home, pack up everything he owned and begin to travel to a place God would show him. As in, in the future. Think about it, the road must have been dusty. The travel hard. Packing and unpacking all of your belongings. He would have most likely had others with him, servants, his wife, others too perhaps. Even though he didn’t know where he was going, he went anyways.
On the walk with Lena yesterday I said, why do we (Christians) think the things God asks us to do in faith are the things we want to do? Why would it be a surprise to anyone that working to break ground on this cafe is hard for me, that it isn’t my dream for my life but, like Abraham, I am going where God would lead me?
I was talking with another friend and nonprofit leader, Jenny, a few days ago and we both said we didn’t tell God we would fight human trafficking, I told him I would go wherever he led me and do whatever he asked me to do. Jenny prayed a similar prayer. Our commitment is to following Jesus, and he has led us into anti trafficking work.
I am doing the anti trafficking work, not because it is my dream for me life, but because my God asked me to get up and start moving in a direction he would show me and we are still going.
Faith is hard. Following Jesus isn’t easy. I have learned and am learning more and more God does want to give me the desires of my heart. God has placed dreams in me and he will bring them to pass, but here is the really important part, he will not bring them to pass the way I thought he would. I never thought I would see my dreams for my life realized within the greater context of fighting human trafficking through building a giveback cafe. Lena isn’t sure how her dream of doing music is going to come back around as she surrendered it and followed God on her Abraham like path.
This cafe dream may not be mine, per say, but it is God’s and he has asked me to be his hands and feet here on earth for such a time as this. What if I had declined the calling? What if I had said, this isn’t the plan. This isn’t my dream. What would I have missed by way of community, refining, and a greater view of God and his world? Who wouldn’t I have become?
If we only do what fits within our plan, what make us happy in the moment, what we think we are gifted at, or knowledgeable about, or you fill in the blank, then we might be missing the better plan God has to bring about our dreams as part of His larger vision. A vision which includes more than only us and our ability to see.
There is no way Abraham was eager to pack up everything and live a nomad life. And even if he thought the first part of following God was an adventure, I highly doubt he was enjoying himself when he was tying his son to the alter right before God provided the ram at the last minute.
Where do you and I need to trust God and tie our own dreams to the altar so God can fulfill them in his way, his timing and to reveal his character?
I wonder how much we miss when we ignore the still small voice of God telling us to do something we don’t see aligning with our own plans. I know from my own experience, I would have missed seeing God weaving together a beautiful story of how he wanted to refine me and fulfill my dreams within a larger context of anti-human trafficking work. I would have missed learning in an intimate way about God’s heart for the honor and care of human beings. I would have missed the many gifts given to my longing heart like those of true community and opportunity to show Jesus to a dark world. Maybe most of all I would have missed seeing Jesus work in real, tangible, restorative ways in other people’s lives, and in my own life too. This encourages my faith and spurs me to keep pressing on most of all.
Walking by faith is walking a line between trusting God will give us everything we need to do the hard things he is asking us to do to engage our world and trusting he will take care of us in the process. This assurance is only found in a continual sitting at the feet of Jesus, a tuning our heart to his voice, and a choosing to trust his will and his way which we can do because we know his heart and we know his heart more and more as we rest and remain in him.
Faith born and lived out of remaining is when faith becomes easy, freeing, and peaceful. This is where we stop trying and trusting becomes habitual. This is my prayer for us today.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit-
Let remaining in you become our priority
Out of remaining help us to become familiar with your heart
As we know your heart teach us to trust your voice
As we listen to your voice help us to follow your way
As we follow your way we trust you to provide everything we need,
for ourselves and those you have placed in our paths
And when we begin to feel tired, remind us again everything we need is found in remaining
Again, remaining in you.
Amen.
story sharing
