Faith: Moving From Hard To Easy
Recently I was at a meeting and like with most of my meetings lately, Storyteller Cafe came up as a topic. I was not the only person present from Stories Foundation at this meeting and yet when one of the people I was meeting with addressed the cafe, it was in reference to it being my dream.
This is true, in part. I have been dreaming about Storyteller Cafe for over 9 years. I can see it in my minds eye like it already exists.
Yet, I left that meeting and said out loud something I have been thinking and speaking a lot lately. I am not doing anti trafficking work or pursuing the build of a giveback cafe for my own health. I am not doing this because this cafe is some big dream I have to realize for myself. Quite the contrary.
Failure, A Mustard seed & Landfill
I left the house early this morning because we were out of coffee and we don’t do a morning without coffee around here. After driving through at Caribou, I found my way to the land we hope to buy for Storyteller Cafe. As I was coming up on the corner I have pictured our cafe on thousands of times I thought ,
“what if my girls remember me as a failure because I spent my whole life fighting for something that never materialized?”
If you feel this is a dramatic thought, it is.
It’s Hard.
This past week was Halloween.
Before I go any further, I have to let it be known that I hate Holloween and say so at least once a day from October 1st to October 31st. If you are a person who likes Halloween, the decorations and all that, my hatred for Halloween isn’t personal against you nor is it meant to shame you. The truth is, I love autumn. Fall is my favorite season, hands down. When the leaves begin to turn, the air smells like bonfires and there is finally a relief from an often grueling, humid, August. When this happens, I breath a little easier. Beauty attracts me and I have a special affection for the beauty of my Minnesotan home in the fall.
The Value of Authentic Community
I have been trying to write this blog post about community for months. I have sat down to write multiple drafts, every time starting over because the words weren’t exactly right to convey what I have been learning and seeing when it comes to the importance of community.
Different Kind of Provision
All summer I have watched the drought here in Minnesota echo my own drought. I have watched myself wake up day in and day out praying and preparing for provision much like we watch the weather app on our phones hoping the forecast predicting rain will come to pass. I have had meetings, gone to events, and had phone conversations in which, as faithfully as I know how, I have communicated the vision and the need. The urgency and the impact. Every time could have been the time where provision rained down, but like the weather the forecasted rain clouds turned into sunshine and where sunshine is good for the soul, when you need rain the heat can make you tired.
Just a Little
I am definitely a “go big or go home” kind a person. I have a tendency to want to do it up or not do it at all, especially when it comes to impact. I don’t think I am alone in this, in Western culture especially, we want to see tangible results and those are often shown by big numbers.
But what if our impact isn’t measured by big graphs and large numbers? What if the importance of something given isn’t actually revealed in how much was spent or how many were there to receive it?
Moved Forward, an Invitation.
In the past 12 months at Stories Foundation we have been moving forward, or maybe even moved forward. The right people with the right skill sets have come into our lives, budgets have been set, projections tweaked, relationships formed, blueprints worked on, plans for PR are in the works. Everything is set. The only way I can describe it is we are in a current of God’s plan riding his vision towards Storyteller Cafe in Ramsey, MN.
Living in the Tension.
Last week we said goodbye to our home. Like with everything in life, moving brought together the tension of grieving over what is lost and excited anticipation over what is to come. I am usually pretty good at change because I love the promise of the future, yet the past 10 years have taught me about the importance of allowing for grief for what was to live alongside joy for what is to come. Life is never one or the other, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, the happy and sad live together. Side by side, in every life situation.
The Women of Christmas/Anna
I hate to wait.
There I said it.
Once I have decided on something, after thinking and researching I have made up my mind this next thing is a good idea for my life, I want it immediately. This applies to things I want to purchase, things I want to do, ideas I want to make reality. If you want to talk me out of something, do it before I have made up my mind. I have a pretty long ideation process where I consider all angles of something, this is the time for me to opt out of an idea or desire. Once my will is set, it is hard to back away.
Women of Christmas/Mary
I read the first chapter of Luke a few weeks ago and ever since I have had Luke 1:45 on repeat in my mind and heart.
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill what he has spoken to her. “
This beautiful verse I have glossed over many times was spoken by Elizabeth when Mary came to visit her. Mary was Elizabeth’s relative, most likely the relationship was Elizabeth was an Aunt to Mary, and when Mary came the baby inside of Elizabeth (John the Baptist) leapt. I can imagine Elizabeth, having heard the news of Mary’s miraculous pregnancy, while living her own miracle with the baby growing inside of her, putting together all the pieces of the larger puzzle that was her life story.
Women of Christmas/Elizabeth
I looked back the other day to see if I picked a word for 2020. It says a lot about this year that I don’t even remember if I picked a word let alone what it was. Scrolling back through my Instagram I found a post from the beginning of the year mentioning surrender. Then over and over again, my posts kept bringing up that word; surrender, surrender, surrender. Unintentionally surrender has been my word for 2020.
Surrendered Rest.
Awhile back, I got in the car early and took off with a friend. We drove through Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois, our final destination being Indiana, with no agenda except to surprise the person we were going to visit. The sole purpose of this trip was rest; good food, good conversation, and going wherever the minivan takes us.
Journeying Towards a Giveback Cafe
Friday I drove out to the land where Storyteller Cafe will be built.
If you have followed me for any length of time you may know how much that statement means. If you are new here, we have been praying for, talking about, working towards a giveback cafe whose purpose will be to fight human trafficking, for the past 8 years. I have been talking so confidently about this Cafe for so long this past summer as I was finally watching it unfold before my eyes I began to wonder if I had lost people in the waiting. Supporters at the beginning have tapered off, people who were excited in the middle and maybe watched us stumble have disappeared. I have even considered at times if I had heard wrong from God on this one, been too rash, moved too quickly. Yet again, over and over he has confirmed his plan. He has continued to move us forward, even if only an inch at a time.
Deleted from Facebook.
A few days ago I was going about my business. I turned in my ballot and did my civic duty of voting and shortly after I was in the car with my parents on the way to look at some houses as we are trying to move (momentous things often happen to me when I am in the car with my parents, example: Stories Foundation) when I went to check my Facebook like any addicted-to-my-phone millennial.
Hurry Up…and Wait.
Among everything else going on this year, Chris and I have decided to put our house up for sale. A few weeks ago as we were discussing the possibility of this, I expressed my desire to know the exact next step (where we will move and when) before we went to all the work of getting our house ready and putting it on the market. This year has been filled with what seems like more opportunities than normal to take a step in the future without having any idea what is coming and truth be told, I was whining, wanting one thing in my life to be clear, easy and laid out for me.
Noah, Gideon and a Give Back Cafe
For many of us, coming into 2020 was filled with excitement, anticipation and hope. There was a certain buzz surrounding not only a new year, but a new decade and all the possibilities it would bring. For my work in the anti-trafficking world and Stories Foundation, the end of 2019 signified 7 years since we had begun our journey. In the Bible 7 is a number of completion and I felt God was moving us forward from a time of preparation and waiting toward a new season. For me, going into 2020, I felt this was the year for Storyteller Cafe.