I was putting my mascara on, the last step before I was “leave the house” ready. As I coated my genetically light lashes, I thought of later in the evening when I would wipe off everything I had just put on. Then my mind went to the day ahead of me, realizing I maybe wasn’t even going to see people who would notice me that day. Then, I wondered why I was going through the trouble. With the last confident swipe and intentional look in the mirror, I thought, no, today I am putting mascara on for me. Today I wanted to get ready. I got dressed, not for the people I would or would not see, but for me. I chose clothes that reflect me. I didn’t change my necklace to one that might match more; instead I kept the one on that reminds me of my GG; it’s cobalt blue pattern one she would approve of.

Lately the saying “treat others how you want to be treated” is ringing differently in my ears. I was with a friend who was treated in a way no one would want to be treated. In thinking about her situation, I asked myself this question: Is our default to treat people not how we want to be treated, but how we treat ourselves? Stay with me.